If your sister sleeps with a man who's denied you sweet sweet lovin', chances are he's denied you because your sister is terrible in bed and the man thought your sister was you.
Got that?
If two other people lie for you, but you come clean about it, you can still win the St. Olaf "Woman of the Year" award... especially if your competition has dead bodies in their house.
- Hold fast to your friends,
- there's no such thing as security, and
- Don't see Ishtar.
Learned from real life: it rocks having a wife that buys you a prop from the set of The Golden Girls for Christmas.
When you're 17, there's nothing forbidden and dangerous as a cow...
If you hold a bird in your hands gently, it'll stay there. But, if you squeeze it, it's eyes will bug out.
Burying a younger sibling is difficult... saying his eulogy as an older sister is even more difficult... having to say his eulogy while he lays in his casket, dressed in a teddy is the most difficult of all.
God meant for women to give birth strapped down to a bed, numb from the neck down.
Morton's Neuroma is "an enlarged nerve that usually occurs in the third interspace, between the third and fourth toes." Dorothy had Morton's Neuroma.