twist of fait accomplis

I started this a few days ago... let's see if I can finish it...

'Star Wars' producer: DVDs hurt B.O.

CNN's good at writing stupid headlines. Your body odor best watch out, DVD's are on the way!

OK, juvenile humor out of the way, let's get down to business.

Rick McCallum, producer of the recent Star Wars sequels says that DVDs have convinced people they can get a theatre experience without going out to theatre. He loves the format, but says that Hollywood will be, for all intents and purposes, dead in as little as three years thanks to it. "The format is killing us!" he screams from the rooftops.

Allow me enlighten Mr. McCallum as to why I rarely go to the movies anymore (hint: it has very little to do with DVD):

1. Hollywood is churning out 98% total and utter shit. That's painfully obvious. You're lucky these movies can barely break even. Out of all the movies in the theatre now, there's only a single one that kind of piques my interest and that's The Ring, which is (reportedly inferior, but still watchable) remake of a Japanese movie from only a few years ago. The big studios aren't making movies, they're making moves, moves to try and capture an audience dollar rather than audience imagination, as if the two are mutually exclusive. Granted, I'm a picky, snobby, obnoxious little bitch, but still...
2. Quite frankly, the movie-going audience is more annoying than it's ever been. There's nothing fun to me about sitting in front of a jackass who will kick your chair for two hours, pausing only to talk loudly to his friend. Going to a theatre can be a great experience, but only if it's an immersive experience. The immersive experience stops when someone distracts your attention from the screen.
3. Do I even need to mention ticket prices?
4. Blame the MPAA. I know for damned sure I'm not going to see a movie in the theatre that's been chopped to hell for an "R" rating when I know I 'll be able to get the real version of the movie on DVD.

There's still an experience about sitting in a theatre and seeing a movie on a big screen with a group of people that you can't get at home, no matter how nice of an HDTV you have. That's why I drive three hours each direction every month or two for an Exhumed Films show. Oddly, if I'm going to see a new movie and not an obscure Italian exploitation flick from the 1970s, I'll go see it during a Sunday morning matinee, when it's somewhat reasonably priced and there are few other people in the theatre. I can't tell you the last time I saw a movie in the theatre after 11am on a Sunday.

I think McCallum and the rest of Hollywood has a lot more to fear than DVDs and digital distribution. They need to fear themselves, idiot filmgoers, monopolistic movie chains, and the MPAA's willy nilly slicing and dicing. Everything else will work itself out.